4 Jan 09 - Day 4

Let's start with the first one I finished. On January 2nd, I completed the 8th task on my list; I learned to knit with double-pointed needles.

I knitted a hat for Knit One Save One.

I have a real inferiority complex about my crafting. On the one hand, I do beautiful work. I'm fast and competent, and I donate my pieces to things like Soldiers' Angels and Save the Children, so it's important that my work be inexpensive, strong, sturdy, and washable. So I use chain store acrylic yarn almost exclusively. (This hat, incidentally, was knitted with wool.)

When I go to knitting groups, especially the one at Loopy Yarns, I feel like I'm playing at something other people are doing for real. As if I were calling myself an actress and holding myself up beside Glenn Close and Gwyneth Paltrow because I played in Oliver in high school. I see the people using expensive wool and silk and mohair and making socks and sweaters and scarves, and I feel like I might as well be making potholders with fabric bands.

So several of my goals for Day Zero are related to knitting. One is to learn to use double-pointed needles. Another is to knit or crochet myself a sweater. (I currently own only two things I've knitted: a hat and a cowl.) Another is to knit a pair of socks. I actually have a pair I started knitting with two circular needles; I finished the ribbing and got scared when I got to the heel.

Part of this is about valuing myself, and keeping something beautiful that I've made for my own use. (I do deserve to have nice things.) Part of this is about trusting myself to have nice things. (I still feel guilty about losing a ruby ring as a child.) Part of it is about trusting my skills and talents as well as expanding them. (I do it with fudge; I can do it with yarn.) And part of it is about celebrating my own contribution. (No one else may want me to make them a cowl, but the one I have helps keep me warm, and is beautiful.)

I've been wanting to try double-pointed needles since I started going to meetups in May. I actually had the nerve to try it in early December, and ripped out my work three times. I finally sat down on Friday and tried something different. I started from the bottom and worked my way up. Parts of it were a pain, and I much prefer crochet, but I did it.

Onward.